Nightmares
by Kaliya22
Summary: Tasha lives one of her worst nightmares.  Will she handle it?  Updated & completed! Let me know what you think.


Chief of Security Tasha Yar paced in the tiny space allotted to her on the battle bridge. She glanced at the viewscreen, checking LaForge's progress on rejoining the battle section with the saucer. As the last of the couplings clicked together, she heard LaForge transfer command back to Captain Picard, and then Picard ordered them all to the main bridge. She busied herself for a few moments with transferring security functions back to the main bridge, allowing the rest time to filter out before her. She sighed inwardly when she finished the last transfer and glanced up to see Commander Riker waiting for her. She walked briskly to the turbolift, and he followed her in.

She gave their destination to the computer, and felt the telltale hum as the turbolift started. Riker leaned against the wall, watching her. She pointedly ignored him. After a few seconds, Riker called the turbolift to a halt. She sighed, and looked up at him, meeting his hazel eyes with her blue. "So," he said, "How long are you going to blame yourself?" Her eyes sparkled as she answered. "About as long as you blame yourself, sir." He grinned at her, and she couldn't help but feel a bit of her tension slip away. He resumed the turbolift. "How about some practice after shift?" She knew he was providing her with an outlet for her frustration over the away mission, but also knew he needed the same outlet. She agreed, and they set a time to meet on the holodeck. Riker gave her one last grin as they exited onto the main bridge.

Captain Picard immediately transferred command to Commander Riker, and headed to sickbay to check on Doctor Crusher. Riker smiled to himself, he knew the ties between the two went deeper than friendship. He paced around the bridge, more to keep himself from becoming lethargic than anything else. He had to be prepared for practice with Tasha, or she would beat him too easily. Soon enough his shift ended. He passed command to Lieutenant Commander Data, and headed for the holodeck. Tasha followed soon after. They stood in the middle of an empty holodeck and discussed what simulation to run. They decided on a training exercise in which their opponent learned and improved as the exercise progressed. Similar to the challenge they had just faced on Minos, except now their lives weren't at risk. They ran it for half an hour and Tasha dominated in terms of kill hits and she saved him several times. But his goal had been accomplished. He had successfully distracted Tasha from thinking over the events that had occurred on Minos. The similarity of the simulation helped her understand that their helplessness on that planet wasn't her fault, wasn't something she could control. Of course, helping Tasha meant he helped himself in the same way.

They separated as they left the holodeck, heading to their quarters for a quick shower before meeting Worf and LaForge for dinner. LaForge was still giddy from having had command of the Enterprise. The other three teased him throughout dinner, but he took it all good heartedly. They chatted about recent missions, in particular the mysterious Q, while they dined. After a wonderful dessert, they headed to individual quarters after wishing one another a good night. Tasha welcomed the quiet of her quarters. Dinner with friends was nice, but she also needed time alone. She was exhausted from the stress of the day. She undressed and crawled into bed. Unfortunately, even though Riker had tried to help alleviate her tensions from the day, they still crept into her sleep, and the nightmares started. First was one brought on by the day, she was back on Minos, unable to stop the machine that hunted them. She was running and falling, helpless as a phaser beam came at her. She woke, breathing hard. She lay there a few minutes, calming herself. Soon enough she fell back to sleep and straight into another nightmare. This one was all too familiar to her. She'd been having the same nightmare since she had been rescued from her home planet. It never failed to terrorize her however, and she woke at the usual point, with a strangled yell and a shout for the computer to turn on the lights. She wiped the tears from her eyes as she waited for the trembling to subside. Then she dressed, knowing she'd get no more sleep, and headed for the gym, figuring she might as well get her workout done.

She was in the middle of her workout when she looked up to see Troi enter. She groaned, knowing the counselor would try to get her talking again. She watched Deanna seek her out, and knew she had sensed her nightmares. "Tasha," she began, but was cut off. "Troi, I know what you sensed, but I'm fine, really. I know the last mission stressed me and was the reason behind the nightmare." Troi sighed. "Well, if you know, then I guess there's nothing I can do." She started to turn away, but Tasha called her back, having sensed the pain in her friend's voice. "Deanna, I'm sorry. You know how I get after having that nightmare." Deanna forgot her own pain at hearing the sadness and pain in Tasha's voice. She decided to give up, at least this time, at getting Tasha to open up more, and instead left after telling Tasha she was always available to lend an ear or shoulder. Tasha smiled and thanked her.

Several hours later found Tasha walking onto the bridge at the start of her shift. She relieved the nighttime security officer, after discussing routine reports with him. She looked up to see Riker and Picard walk in together. The Captain greeted her with a nod and Riker with a smile. Shortly after, Worf walked in. He greeted her as he went to his station next to hers. They softly discussed routine security and communications issues, and then started discussing an upcoming Parises Squares tournament. Worf then headed out to do an inspection, and Tasha realized how tired she was. She yawned discreetly, but Riker saw. He headed up to stand next to her. "Tired, Lieutenant?" He asked, his voice teasing, yet she didn't miss the concern there as well. She guessed Deanna had let it slip to him about her night. "I'm fine Commander." She replied softly. He didn't miss the slight waver to her voice. He gently squeezed her arm, and went back to his post. She knew he'd try to cheer her up later, but not while they were on duty.

Tasha fought back quite a few more yawns during the slow morning part of her shift. She caught Riker watching her more than once, and it seemed Worf was in on it too. She tolerated the extra attention as long as possible, and then escaped on break. It was no better when she returned however. The second half of her shift threatened to drag on forever, until a tiny blip hit her screen. She punched a few buttons, watching. Worf noticed quickly, and moved to look over her shoulder. "What is it?" He asked her, his deep voiced rumbling. "I don't know." She replied softly, not wanting to attract attention from below. "I saw a … blip. But I can't find it again." Worf knew Tasha wouldn't even mention it if she hadn't been positive it was there, so he stayed put, watching her controls over her shoulder. A minute later, they both saw it, but it was larger, and it stayed. Tasha's fingers flew over her command panel, trying to coax any information from the computer, but whatever it was, it was too far away. "Captain," she said. "There's something on the long range sensors." She hesitated, trying again to get any information. Worf moved back to his station to try as well, and Riker came up behind her. All three of them gasped at the next reading.

Captain Picard turned to look at them when he heard the collective gasp. He raised an eyebrow and waited. "Sir," reported Tasha, "The… thing… is moving directly towards us, at warp 15!" A ripple of excitement and fear swept over the bridge crew. "That's impossible," stated Picard. He walked up to join Riker at Yar's station, watching as she ran the sensor sweeps again. He saw for himself that it came back as an unidentified vessel approaching at warp… 15. He glanced at Commander Riker, and then walked back down to his chair, as he gave the order for full stop and red alert. Riker took his place beside him, and they waited. Tasha kept them updated on the object's speed and ETA. Once it was in range, Tasha put a visual up on the viewscreen, and they watched a point of light become larger and larger.

Picard had his suspicions as to what the object was. When Tasha yelled that it was 5 seconds from colliding with the Enterprise, he hoped he was right, even if being right wasn't the best thing. Then, a white light blinded them, and he braced for impact. But it didn't happen. When they were able to see again, they saw the cage like field that surrounded them. Picard heard Worf growl behind him, and Tasha speak the simple name of their foe. "Q." An unfamiliar voice answered from behind her. "Why yes darling." Tasha and Worf spun around, phasers in hand. Picard stood and turned. He saw a man, dressed in Starfleet uniform, but it wasn't the Q they knew. "Who are you?" he demanded. The man laughed. "Why, I am Q!" he stated. Before Picard could protest, he continued, "You didn't think that fool you've met before was the only one of us did you?" Riker replied, "He had told us there were others, but we assumed he would be the only one we would meet."

The new Q laughed. "You humans are as stupid as Q said." He walked down the ramp to stand before Picard. Tasha and Worf followed him with their phasers. Picard signaled them to put them away. "And what shall we call you?" he asked the new Q. "Is a name such an important thing?" the man replied. "I'll amuse you. Call me… let's see, what is a good, easy name… how about Tomas?" Picard snorted. "Fine. Tomas it is. Now, what do you want?" "What do I want?" Tomas paced the bridge. "What do I want…" He stopped next to Tasha. She didn't look at him. Tomas grinned. "I want this one!" He grabbed Tasha. Worf lunged for him, Riker ran up the ramp, but before they could do anything, Tomas and Tasha disappeared. Worf slammed his hand down on the railing. Riker looked to Captain Picard. Picard met his eyes. They both knew they were helpless, and they hated it.

Over an hour later, Worf growled under his breath at the tactical display. Frustrated by helplessness, he had spent the time since Tasha's abduction trying to find a chink in the energy fence surrounding the Enterprise. Of course, it had been a fruitless search. Riker had been pacing the bridge. Hearing Worf's growl, he let his pacing carry him up to the Klingon's side. "Any luck Worf?" "No sir," he replied. Riker hadn't expected anything, but he did nothing to discourage Worf from trying. Anything to keep the Klingon busy. Captain Picard spoke from below. "You have the bridge Number One. I'll be in my ready room." Riker nodded, "Aye sir." Picard started to leave, but a voice stopped him. "Oh, don't leave Captain. I just got here." He turned and glared at Tomas, sitting in the captain's chair. "Where is Lieutenant Yar?" he demanded. Tomas laughed. "Do you really think I'd give her back so easily? Things are just getting interesting." Riker spoke from tactical, "Interesting? What are you doing with her?" "See for yourself," replied Tomas.

He flicked his fingers towards the viewscreen, and the view of the grid changed. Picard and Riker unconsciously moved closer to the screen when they saw Tasha. She was making her way through the rubble of some city, her gold uniform streaked with dust and dirt. "Where is she?!" demanded the Captain again. When he got no reply, he turned and saw Tomas had disappeared. "Captain…" LaForge spoke from helm, and his voice made Picard turn immediately. New figures had come into the scene. Tasha spotted the men, and Riker saw the pure terror on her face. She backed away from them. "Ain'cha a pretty thing," said one of the men. The other 3 men snickered. "Betcha she'll fetch a good price," said another, and the rest nodded. "After we have our fun of course." Tasha bolted, and the men gave chase. "Oh my god," said Riker. Captain Picard looked at him. "It's her dream… her nightmare. Tomas put her into her own nightmare!" Picard studied the screen. "How does this nightmare end Commander?" "Not pleasantly," said a female voice from behind. They both turned as Counselor Troi sat down. Tears streaked her face. "Even Q wasn't this cruel," she commented. Riker questioned her more. "Tasha never told me how her nightmare ended. Do you know? Will she be ok?" "Unless Tomas takes it beyond just her nightmare, she will live. Beyond that…" She looked down. "The nightmare was a reply of the day before she was rescued by Starfleet. She was beaten and raped." Her tear filled eyes glanced up at the screen.

Riker turned back to the screen. The men had no chance of gaining on Tasha as she was in excellent shape. But that didn't help her when she turned into an alley in hopes of escape only to find herself cornered in a dead end. The men slowed to a walk, knowing they had her. Riker swallowed, not really wanting to see the rest, yet unable to look away. Picard spoke and fear was in his voice. "Get this off the screen." LaForge replied immediately. "I already tried sir. I can't change it." The bridge crew watched, helpless. The first of the men reached Tasha, and she lashed out. Blood spurted from his nose, and he cursed. He and 2 of the others flashed knives. Tasha tried to fight, but it didn't last long. Riker cried out when one of the men landed a hit with a knife across Tasha's shoulder, and blood stained her uniform. She collapsed on the dirty pavement. Several of the men kicked her until she curled up in a ball. The leader pounced on her. "It's him," said Picard softly. The rest of the bridge crew saw what he meant. The leader was Tomas. Riker heard Worf growl behind them as they watched him violently rape Tasha. A quick glance and Riker saw the pain in his Captain's expression. He heard Deanna sobbing, but nothing could make him move.

Picard turned his back to the viewscreen. "Tomas! Q! Whoever, whatever you are, stop this now!" Fury and pain filled his voice. A light flashed, and he turned, fully prepared to unleash his fury on Tomas. But there stood Q, the Q they all knew. "Mon Capitaine! You called?" Then he caught sight of the viewscreen. "What…" "Your friend Tomas paid us a visit, he's doing that to Tasha. I want her back… Now!" Q looked at him, confused. "Tomas? Who…" Then he caught sight of the man with Tasha, and for the first time, they saw Q truly angry. Q flicked his fingers at the screen, and the scene disappeared. He flicked his fingers again, and Tasha appeared. She was practically naked, her uniform hanging in tatters from her, blood pouring from the wound on her shoulder. Riker rushed to her side as Picard called for medical help. Q knelt before Tasha and took her hands in his. He closed his eyes and a white light enveloped Tasha. Worf gave a yell from above, and pulled out his phaser. "No Lieutenant," ordered Picard. Riker watched Q hover over Tasha. A minute later, as Doctor Crusher rushed in, the light faded. Tasha was healed, her wounds gone. Crusher knelt beside her, running the medical tricorder over her. Q spoke. "Tasha, I am sorry." He glanced at Picard once, and then was gone in a flash of light. Picard joined the others around Tasha.

Crusher finished her scans as Troi draped a blanket she had gotten replicated around Tasha. "She seems ok. No physical wounds, no broken bones, nothing of that sort. What happened?" Picard gave her the look that meant he'd fill her in later, and took one of Tasha's hands. "Tasha… are you ok?" She looked at him through tear filled eyes. "Captain…" That was as far as she got before she broke down into sobs. Riker wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him. Crusher pulled out a hypo and injected Tasha with a mild sedative. Picard looked at Riker. "Take her to her quarters, and stay with her." Riker nodded, and Deanna helped him take Tasha off the bridge. They got Tasha back to her quarters, where Riker laid her on the bed and covered her with the blanket. He stood over her a moment, gathering his own emotions before going to talk quietly with Deanna. "What do you think?" he asked the counselor. Deanna reached up to wipe a stray tear from her face. "It's going to be tough for her Will. Extremely tough." Riker nodded, and hugged Deanna, then sent her to get some rest. He checked on Tasha and then, finding her asleep, stretched out on the couch.

Hours later, Will was dreaming. He was chasing a man, and a woman was crying. He felt such anger towards the man, but didn't know why. Then the crying became louder, more insistent, and he woke. Tasha was awake and huddled in her bed, sobbing. He rushed to her, and she jumped at his presence. "Tasha," he said, softly. Her eyes met his and she moved towards him. He gathered her in his arms and stroked her hair, whispering comforting words. She was shaking so he wrapped the blanket around her, even though he knew she wasn't cold. She pulled herself closer to him. He held her tight and rocked her slowly. It wasn't long before her crying stopped and she drifted back to sleep in his arms. He gently laid her back in the bed and went back to the couch. About two hours later the door chime sounded, waking him from a light sleep. He glanced into the other room and saw Tasha still sleeping, so he went to the door. Captain Picard stood there. He stepped into the hallway so they wouldn't wake Tasha. "How is she?" asked the captain. "She seems to be ok. She woke once from a nightmare but has been asleep since." Picard nodded. "I know Tasha, she'll want to return to duty as soon as possible. I talked to Deanna and she said that in this case, it might be good for her. I want her to spend today resting, but I'll let her return to duty tomorrow if she wants." Riker nodded back. "I'll let her know sir." He started to turn to go back inside, but Picard caught his arm. "Will, take the day off with her. I think you can use some rest yourself." Riker started to protest, but thought better of it. "Thank you sir," he replied, and went back inside.

Tasha was awake when he went in. She watched him silently as he walked over to her. He filled her in on what the Captain had said. She was surprised at first, but happy about it. They ate a light breakfast together, and headed to the gym. They spent most of the day between the gym and the holodeck, practicing new techniques and reinforcing old ones. The evening consisted of dinner with several of the bridge crew, and then Tasha retired to her quarters after. Riker left her alone, knowing how she valued her time. He consulted with Deanna. She said Tasha was progressing well, but it would still be a long time before the mental wounds healed. She then asked how he was doing. He started to fend off her questions out of habit, until he realized he needed to talk. They discussed his frustration from the Minos mission, and then his fears concerning Tasha, and he felt much better after.

The next seven days blended together somewhat. Routine scouting missions threatened to bore the crew to death. Tasha spent a good portion of each day preparing for the Parises Squares tournament. Riker and Worf helped her in her training. Riker was worried that she was overdoing it a little; she was often exhausted after each session. Even she noticed it and commented on it, wondering why she was so worn out from a normal training session. Riker had to remind her that her idea of normal was extreme for most. She laughed at that.

Almost two weeks after the abduction, and two days before the tournament, they were spending another shift scanning dust clouds in space. Riker sighed as he headed to the bridge for his shift. He stretched his legs on the way, the previous night's practice had been extra challenging since the tournament was so near. He walked onto the bridge and saw that he had beat Tasha for a change. He chuckled to himself, wondering if she had finally found her limit the night before. A few minutes later, Tasha walked in. She looked exhausted, and Riker felt a twinge of concern. He dismissed it, telling himself it was just from practice. Picard gave the order to start the scans, and he went to work. A few hours later, Picard was pacing the bridge, bored as the rest of the crew. He heard him say, "Are you alright Lieutenant?" He turned to see who the Captain was talking to, and saw Tasha. She was gripping the railing at her station with both hands, and she was so pale. She swallowed visibly and answered, "I think I need to go to sickbay sir." Before the Captain could reply, she collapsed. Riker rushed to her side, paging sickbay. He knelt beside her, brushing the hair out of her face. Picard knelt across from him, and they shared a worried look. The turbolift doors opened and Dr Crusher stepped over to them. Picard moved so she could examine Tasha. She ran the tricorder over Tasha's body, studying the readings. Riker was about to ask her what the results were when Tasha came to. Crusher put her tricorder away and asked Riker to help take Tasha to sickbay. Tasha insisted on walking, even though she did lean on Riker for support. Once at sickbay, Crusher ordered Riker out. He protested heavily, and Tasha asked that he be allowed to stay, but Crusher insisted. Riker knew how persistent and stubborn the Doctor could be, so he headed back to the bridge.

As soon as Riker left, Crusher started scanning Tasha again. Tasha started asking questions but Bev ignored her, concentrating instead on readings. Tasha sighed, and waited. Finally Bev put her instruments away, and looked at Tasha. "Well?" asked Tasha. "There's nothing wrong with me, right? I've just been overdoing the training." "I wish that was what I had to tell you." Bev paused and took a deep breath. "Tasha... you're pregnant." "WHAT?" Tasha jumped off the bed, backing away from Crusher like it was her fault. "But I can't be, we took care of that risk, didn't we?" After the rape, Crusher had given her preventative meds. "They're not 100 effective Tasha." She grabbed Tasha's arm before the woman could bolt out of sickbay. "There's more Tasha." Tasha stared at her, blue eyes showing her panic. Bev took another breath. This was too odd for her. "You're not just pregnant, you're three months pregnant." "What?" Tasha's voice was confused. "But it happened not even two weeks ago." "And there was no chance of you being pregnant at the time of the incident?" Bev hated asking, but she had to. Fortunately Tasha didn't even blink at the question. "I'm positive." "Well, something odd is going on. Maybe the Q have an extremely short gestation period." Tasha stared at her, an empty look in her eyes. Bev forgot about the oddness of it all and paged Captain Picard. She decided an officer meeting would be the best way to announce this to the bridge crew.

Curious eyes turned to Tasha and Beverly when they walked into the briefing room. Tasha avoided Riker's eyes, even though she could feel him staring at her and sense his concern. She sat next to Worf and waited. Picard spoke. "We are here at the request of Dr Crusher. Doctor?" "I'll keep this simple Captain. Tasha is pregnant." Stunned gasps followed that statement. Riker started, "But Doctor..." She cut him off. "Yes, precautions were taken after the… incident. But it's not 100." Picard spoke up. "Tasha? How do you feel?" She looked at him and a tear escaped her eye. "I don't know sir." Her voice was barely a whisper. She stood. "Permission to be dismissed Captain." Picard watched her a moment before replying. "Granted." Tasha almost ran from the room. Riker looked after her, yearning to follow. Before he could ask however, Dr Crusher spoke again. "Captain, there's more you should know. Tasha is three months pregnant." "Three months? That's impossible." "Not so Captain," replied an all too familiar voice. Picard turned to see Q at the window. Q turned and took Tasha's usual seat at the table. "The Q rarely reproduce, since we are, well, immortal. The few times I am aware of have been between two of the Q. I'm not aware of a Q mating with a human." Crusher interrupted him. "What is the normal gestation period for a Q?" "About 6 weeks." "Well, that would make sense… if Tasha is showing as 3 months pregnant and it has been about 2 weeks." Q answered a few more questions for the doctor before disappearing. Picard looked around the room once. "Meeting over, you are all dismissed." Everyone filed out of the briefing room except Riker and Captain Picard. The captain met his eyes. "Go Will. Take care of her." He thanked the Captain, and rushed out to find Tasha. He assumed she would be in her quarters, and went straight there. He found her quarters empty however. A simple inquiry to the computer and he headed to the holodeck.

When the holodeck doors opened, he almost panicked. The setting was the same city as Tomas had made. He walked in and started looking for Tasha. He found her not too far away, perched on the edge of a wall. "Why this place?" he asked, sitting next to her. "It's all I know," she replied softly, looking at him. "It's where I grew up." "May I?" he asked, moving his arm in a sweeping gesture to indicate the landscape. She nodded. "Computer, run program Riker 00347." The harsh city landscape disappeared and was replaced by white snow covered fields and mountains. Tasha gasped at the beauty of it. Then she wrapped her arms around herself as she shivered. Riker chuckled. "Computer, adjust air temperature to a comfortable level, but don't let anything melt." Tasha hopped off the fence that the computer had placed there instead of the wall in her scene and walked a few feet. "What is this place?" she asked, coming back to stand in front of him. "Alaska, Earth." He smiled. "It's where I grew up." "It's beautiful," she commented, looking back out over the sparkling landscape. She sighed heavily. "What am I going to do Will?" "I don't know what to tell you Tasha." He walked up and stood next to her, facing her. He brushed a stray hair from the side of her face. "What do you want to do?" Before she could answer, Q popped in front of her. Riker glared at him, and Tasha just looked at him. For once, Q didn't tease at all, just spoke softly to Tasha. "Tasha, I just want to let you know there is one option you have that you probably didn't think you had." Taking a cue from his seriousness, Tasha bit back any smartass replies and just looked at him. "If you choose to have the child, we… the Q, are willing to take it…" he paused, and stepped forward to Tasha. He placed his hand lightly on her stomach and a soft light glowed around his hand. He continued his earlier statement. "We are willing to take _him_ and raise him. He would need us at some point anyway to learn his Q powers." Tasha placed her hand over her stomach. "Him? It's a boy?" Q nodded, and smiled at her. "Think it over Tasha." And Q was gone. Tasha looked at Will. He saw the turmoil of emotions in her eyes, and pulled her into his embrace. Tasha took some comfort from Will, but she was still scared and confused. She thought briefly of how Tomas had raped her, and she trembled. Will felt it and held her tighter. He leaned down and softly kissed the top of her head as snow started to fall.

The next week was rough for Tasha. She was unable to compete in the tournament, due to the pregnancy making her weak. Riker tried to distract her with holodeck exercises, but they often ended with her in tears, frustrated because she couldn't perform at the same level as before. There was also the matter of her deciding what to do. It was too late in the pregnancy for the child to be raised in a gestation tank. She had quickly dismissed the idea of abortion, especially this far along. That left few choices. She could raise the child herself, a daunting task for Chief of Security on the Federation's flagship. She could give the child up for adoption to human parents. A tempting choice, however, if the child had Q abilities, human parents wouldn't be able to help him learn. It seemed that her last choice was really her only one – to give the child to the Q to raise. She talked it over with the officers during the week, and most agreed that was the best option. Having made her decision, she escaped to the holodeck again, and called up the program Riker had a week ago. She smiled sadly as she looked across the snowy landscape. She started walking, cursing the back pain that had started just that morning. She had woken with a splitting headache, aching back, and felt shaky all over. A visit to sickbay had cured the headache, but the rest remained. She sighed, kicking snow to relieve some frustrations. Suddenly a sharp pain lanced through her abdomen. She doubled over, almost falling on the snow. Taking a deep breath, she stood straight for a second until another pain raced through her. She cried out. She heard someone yelling for her. Riker. And Troi. Something caught her eye and she looked down. Red. The snow was bright red. It dawned on her why the snow was red, and she cried out again, collapsing as pain took over.

Riker and Troi heard Tasha's cry, and raced to her. Sickbay had already been called, when Troi sensed Tasha's pain. They heard Crusher calling out from behind as they found Tasha. "No!" cried Troi. Riker looked to see why, and saw the blood on the snow. He kneeled beside Tasha, lifting her up out of the snow as Crusher came up. Bev took in the scene quickly. She pressed a hypo to Tasha's arm, and met Riker's eyes. He lifted her, and they rushed to sickbay. Bev ran several scans, but they could tell it was too late. There was no way she could save the child. She kept Tasha sedated, letting her rest before she had to deal with the news. She walked over to where Riker, Troi, and now Picard, waited. "She lost the child." Before the others could respond, Q popped in next to Riker. Picard grabbed him, furious. "Q! This is all the Q's fault!" "Wait Captain!" Q pleaded. "We have dealt with Tomas, he wasn't the normal Q. Please, don't lay the blame on all of the Q!" Picard thought a moment, and then released him. "You're right, of course. I do not like seeing this happen to one of my crew members." "I am sorry Captain." "Q," said Picard. "Could you make Tasha forget all of this happened?" Q looked at him. "I could." He turned to look at Tasha on the bed. "But is it really fair to her?" Picard met Q's eyes, and then looked away. Q disappeared.

Picard walked over to Tasha's bed. He stared at her for a few seconds before looking at Bev. "Wake her." Crusher opened her mouth to protest, but he spoke again before she could. "Doctor, please. Wake her." Bev grabbed a hypo and moved next to Tasha. Riker moved behind Picard, worry in his eyes. Bev looked at the men again, then pressed the hypo to Tasha's neck. Tasha's eyes fluttered open. At first, she was surprised, and confused as to where she was and why they were watching her. Seconds later, the horrible memories came back to her, and she struggled to sit up, panic filling her eyes. Bev reached for her. "Easy Tasha." Tasha met her eyes, and she knew. "No…" she looked to the men, meeting Riker's eyes, and her fears where confirmed. Her hands went to her stomach, and she sat there a moment, staring into the distance. Picard broke the silence. "Tasha." She looked at him, and his heart ached with the pain he saw in her eyes. "I… I'm sorry." He couldn't say what he wanted to, not there. She nodded, her gaze slipping back to nothing. Picard left sickbay, and Riker moved closer to Tasha. "Tasha?" She glanced at him, her eyes empty. He looked at Bev. "Is she ok to return to her quarters?" Bev nodded. "She just needs to take it easy for 24 hours, she'll be fine." Riker thanked her, and took Tasha's arm. "Let's get you back to your quarters." She let him assist her.

Once in her quarters, she headed to the window and stood there, staring out into space. Riker walked up behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders. As he gently massaged her shoulders, he felt her tremble, and knew she was crying. He started to wrap his arms around her from behind, but she turned around and buried her head against his chest. He held her tight as sobs wracked her body, supporting her when her legs threatened to give out. He ran his fingers up and down her spine in a calming motion and led her to the couch. Will knew she was on the verge of losing control. He noticed her tears had stopped, and he moved away from her to look in her eyes. He saw the empty look, and his eyes filled with tears. He pulled her to him again, resting his cheek on her head, whispering into her hair. "Tasha, no," he pleaded, not wanting her to lock her emotions away. She had done that for years, and had kept them locked away for so long on the Enterprise. But Will had slowly chipped at her defenses and gotten her to open up to him about her past. Now all the recent events threatened to destroy everything he had done. He was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of the door opening. Glancing up he saw Captain Picard and Troi. Deanna's eyes were red, and he could tell she was hurting with Tasha's pain. Picard spoke before he could. "Will, I'd like a moment with Tasha." He glanced at Deanna, "Alone." Deanna backed out of the room. Will released Tasha. He looked into her eyes again, and had to close his eyes against the emptiness. He ran his fingers over her cheek, then walked past the Captain to join Deanna outside.

As soon as they were gone, Picard moved to sit next to Tasha. She met his eyes with the same blank stare she'd given Riker. He took a deep breath and placed his hands on either side of Tasha's face, forcing her to keep eye contact. "Tasha. Listen to me. I know this isn't easy. But you can't lose yourself. You can't give up on life just because…" She interrupted him, fury filling her eyes. "Just because I was raped? Just because that monster made me pregnant, and then I lost the child?" She fought to get away from him, but he held her steady. "You were raped growing up. A horrible childhood, but you survived. Survived to become an excellent Starfleet officer." "And what did it get me?" she snapped. "A replay of my childhood. I never escaped that place, I never will!" It was Picard's turn to get angry. "So you're going to give it all up?" he shouted, pushing her away from him as he stood. "You're going to give up on us, on Starfleet… the Enterprise, your friends, your family." "I have no family! I never have." "You do now," he replied softly. "What are you, my father?" She snarled. He leaned over her, meeting her eyes. "If you want me to be." She opened her mouth to reply, but shut it when she realized what he said. She met his eyes, shocked. He saw the anger leave her, and tears start to fill her eyes. He sat next to her, and took her hand. "Tasha, it will take awhile for the hurt to leave and you to heal. Meanwhile, we are here for you. All of us, Will, Deanna, Worf. We are your family. And we're not going to stop being your family." Tears fell over Tasha's cheeks, and Picard opened his arms. She moved into his embrace, his words still echoing in her thoughts. He held her until the intercom chimed. "Bridge to Captain Picard," Worf's deep voiced reverberated in the room. "Picard here." "Sir, there is an incoming message from Starfleet, for your eyes only." Picard sighed. "On my way Lt. Picard out." He met Tasha's eyes. "I'm sorry, I have to go." He brushed the tears off her cheeks. "If you need anything Tasha, let me know." She nodded, and he kissed her cheek before leaving.

Will and Deanna looked up when they heard the door open. The Captain glanced at the both of them as he headed to the bridge. Riker looked at Troi as she spoke. "I don't know what he said to her. But the walls are gone again. She is still filled with an intense hurting however." She headed off after the Captain. Will sighed in relief, and headed into Tasha's quarters. As the door closed behind him, Tasha met his eyes. Her cheeks were wet from tears, and her eyes red. She stood and walked over to stand in front of him, never losing eye contact. "Will," her voice was weary, and trembled slightly. "I'm sorry." He moved a step closer, cupping her cheek in his hand, using his thumb to wipe some of the wetness away. "Sorry? For what Tasha?" "For giving up." She lowered her eyes, ashamed. He moved his thumb to her chin, raising her eyes back to his. He stared into her blue eyes and blinked at the raw emotion he saw in them. "Tasha," he said softly. "You didn't give up. If you had truly given up you never would have listened to me or to the Captain." She watched him, her gaze thoughtful. "Besides, all that matters is you're here now, and you're going to be ok." It was all overwhelming to her, so she didn't reply, just stepped forward and rested her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. She sighed softly as he ran his fingers lightly over her back, providing the comfort she so desperately needed.

Later that day, Tasha was curled up on her sofa, staring out the window into the endless depths of space. A white light flashed and she saw Q reflected in the window. She didn't turn to look at him as he sat next to her. "Tasha," he said, his voice soft. She turned her eyes to him then. She still didn't trust him, but knew he wasn't dangerous like Tomas. "Tasha, I am sorry for what has happened to you. I wanted you to know that Tomas has been dealt with and you will never see him again." She stared at him, remaining silent for a minute before surprising him with a question. "Q, why did the baby die?" Sadness flashed through Q's eyes, catching Tasha offguard. "I don't know. The Q have never mated with an human. I monitored your pregnancy as best I could from a distance, and detected nothing abnormal. It just happened suddenly. I can only guess…" He stopped speaking as he noticed tears fall down Tasha's cheeks. He hesitated a moment then took her hand in his. "Tasha, it's not your fault you lost the baby." She sobbed then, and a stricken look came to his face. Q was not prepared to handle human emotions. He didn't know what to do to comfort her. Fortunately he was saved as at that moment the door opened, and Riker came in.

Riker saw the look on Q's face, and Tasha sobbing on the couch. He glared at Q, but the man just shrugged at him. "What did you do to her?" Riker asked as he moved to kneel next to Tasha. He gathered Tasha into his arms, breaking Q's hold on her hand. She clung tightly to him, sobbing against his chest. Tears burned in Riker's eyes as he glanced at Q. Q stood, backing away from the couch. "I only told her that it wasn't her fault she lost the baby." He looked sad, and Riker suddenly understood Tasha's tears. "That was a good thing to tell her Q." Q looked totally confused and Riker bit back a laugh. "She was feeling guilty over the baby's death, as if it was her fault. Now that you've told her it wasn't her fault she can grieve the baby's loss and begin to heal." Q looked at Tasha, huddled in Riker's arms, and nodded. He stepped closer to them, placing a hand on Tasha's forehead. She looked up at him. A white glow surrounded Q's hand, pulsing into Tasha's skin. Will resisted the impulse to push Q away from her. Moments later, Q removed his hand, took a step backwards and disappeared. Will looked down to find Tasha's blue eyes gazing up at him. He raised his hand to her face, brushing his fingers lightly over where Q's hand had been. At his questioning gaze, she spoke. "I don't know what he did Will. But all of the physical pain is gone, and the emotional pain seems dimmer. It's still there, it still hurts, but it's as if he helped me past the hardest parts." Will sent a silent thank you to Q as Tasha closed her eyes and soon drifted off to sleep in his arms.


End file.
